I started a new job recently, opening the opportunity to put me in uncomfortable situations demanding immediate reactions and anticipating needs. This last month I’ve concluded that my sanity is driven by chaos. The more chaos I can ensue, the better I function. That is backward but so true. I have this undying need to help others, so I put myself out there as much as possible. I don’t need a warning not to spread myself thin, or commonly said by many; those people will burn out if they work too hard. Instead, I’m practicing giving myself the benefit of the doubt. If I don’t spread myself too thin, how will I ever know the level of my breaking point? I’m giving myself that opportunity and coaching myself on not judging people so quickly. I’m putting myself out there for others to learn from and to learn from them while practicing some self-humility. People think it’s not ok to admit your faults. If that’s the case, then faults will remain faults forever. Why accept that?
Recently, I was able to use my experiences to help. I was in a difficult situation from a professional stance but a very familiar situation from a parental stance. The lines were fuzzy between the two, but I was able to utilize my Godly-gifted talents. Often, individuals do not give themselves that acknowledgment or praise. We are too quick to focus on what we can’t do in a difficult situation instead of on what we can do, and what we did accomplish. Internal accomplishments do not need to be compared, measured, or quantified. They need to be recognized and idealized. Praising yourself can be a powerful tool. That makes me wonder what has stopped me from praising myself in the past, why the negatives always come before the positives, and what makes us do that. Why do we stray from the meaning behind life and let go of focusing on the purpose? Recalling we were gifted this life and letting go of any sense of entitlement.
I can guarantee that everyone near and dear to me hugs their child a little tighter than before, knowing that the potential pain of their child’s loss would crumble their hope. When Archer was put on life support, my dad told me, “Look how much adversity you’ve already been through.” Adversity definitions include difficulties and misfortune. “The resilience in the face of adversity.” I had never used that word before, Archer. I had never given myself any credit for the challenges I had already lived through. Not only lived, like a beating heart, but conquered, solved, defeated, moved past, and continued to live some more. I had never claimed adversity, and I tend to downplay most situations. So much so that I’ve likely left others believing I wasn’t coping well because I gave myself zero recognition.
The story’s moral is that if I needed to realize that about myself, others could benefit from my experience to recognize my challenges and claim my adversity. If anything, give yourself some love and praise. Believe that the heart-wrenching experiences you’ve dealt with can be used to guide another person on a similar path. Use your skills to boost those around you. I assume that God wanted me to have critical healthcare skills. I accepted the challenge, and I’m learning so much. I didn’t let the fear of humiliating myself stop me from learning. I encourage everyone to accept that challenge and put themselves in situations they know will make them uncomfortable. Believe that you can pursue great things.
To Archer, thank you, buddy. Thank you for your laugh, your love, and your experiences that guide me every day. Thank you, Lord for letting us have Archer for 5 years, 1, 933 days, 46, 392 hours, and 2,783,520 minutes. I love you.
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